Silent fight with myself

Random conversation I had in my head during my workout and my after shower:

Me: I think I’m dying. I’ve done only one set of my workout and I just don’t thing this whole stupid dieting and eating healthy thing is healthy!! 

Diet Karma: You can do it. Don’t give up. 

Me: WTF? Who are you kidding?? I just kicked my ass over here and you’re a sucky cheerleader! 

Diet Karma:  Stay strong! Just imagine how you’ll feel after your results of transforming!

Me: I’ll feel like shit now and later. Pretty sure I pulled a muscle and that makes me need some delicious lovin’!!! Like a giant freggin‘ dark chocolate cookie!!!

Diet Karma: Eat some carrots or celery and drink your water, it’s the same thing. 

Me: That’s not a cookie!! Or dark chocolate. Wave a bar of milk chocolate or any flavor cake and I’d be good, DK. Those don’t phase me. 

Side note, How can a make something??? (Rummage through the pantry to find anything) and have ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!!!! 

Diet Karma: See, I told you that you didn’t need anything. 

Me: Dammit DK, I hate you right now. I know, I can make healthy brownies!!! Well shit!!! We don’t have chocolate chips anywhere in the house!!! Sounds of frustration creeping through the house. 

Diet Karma: I’m still here. Are you ever gonna listen to me? Stay strong. Don’t give into your cravings. 

By this time, I have looked through my fridge like 3 times and in the pantry so many times, I’ve lost count. I even googled healthy desserts but we just don’t have the stuff to make anything!! Finally I give in. 

Me: You win Diet Karma. I still hate you and next time I go grocery shopping, leave your ass at home. Thank you very much!! 

My fitness journey has been a long one, where I have had my fair share of wins and loses. It’s a battle because I LOVE to bake and they usually turn out. DK is my nemesis but keeps me in check. I usually fight with myself on this and DK wins for the most part. Except those times where I do… then I feel crappy usually because I ate WAY TOO MUCH or what I ate counted as 3 days worth of food! 

But seriously this healthy living is hard because America is so engrained with fast food and convenience, it’s difficult to change thinking. I think that’s where everyone can start. Make the change in your head and stick to it. Took me years and I still fail and that’s ok. Small steps are what matters. I can’t be perfect but I can make changes for the better!!! 

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