I, at times, am very scattery with my thinking. Clark at times is not sure if I’m mad, sad, or completely zoned out. When he grudgingly asks me what’s wrong, he tempers himself for the worst, but usually I’m tired. I can sometimes use my brain ninja skills to run circles around people! But at times, not so much.
My phone’s telling me that scattery is not a word! I’m sorry phone, this works perfectly. It’s not my fault that you aren’t with what’s cool these days.
I’ve been back from BCT and I totally graduated!!! This is me with my BEAUTIFUL girls. Clark was there and we took more selfies on his phone.
I am so glad that I took this journey as it is amazing and totally sucky at the same time!! I was amazed at the things I was able to do! Who throws live grenades??? I did, twice! It was life changing. One thing we had to do, that seriously sucked was the gas chamber!! Talk about terrible!! I didn’t vomit but some people did. It burned my eyes, inside my nose, and my throat felt like it was on fire. I tried not to breathe but they ask you questions to make sure you breathe.
I wish we were allowed to have our phones but they were confiscated and locked up. We did get to use them to call home 3 times for about 15 minutes!! That was it. I cried the first time I was able to call home after 3 weeks!! I tried to be strong but I balled like a baby!!
There were some super shitty times though, I’m not going to lie! I was living with, at one point 64 other females that were typically 18-24 y are old. Needless to say, I tried to avoid them every chance I could. But let me break this out because if you aren’t in the Army, then you won’t understand when I say Battle Buddy. Battle Buddy is your person. YOU CANT GO ANYWHERE WITHOUT ONE!!!!!! You can’t go to the bathroom without a battle buddy. Getting water alone, out of the question! Talking to drill sergeants alone, get sent away until you have a Battle Buddy!
So the way I would find my own little Zen was hiding in my wall locker. Opening the doors squeezing myself in and sticking my legs out to find my private quiet time!
So needless to say, I had to mesh with people even when I didn’t want to. But in the end, I have learned so much. Before BCT, I hated when people would get physically close to me. This was something that was something I had to get passed extremely fast!! They would pack you in hip to hip sometimes! I learned to put my learned anxiety to the side. My want to graduate helped me overcome the desire to flip my shit with people.
This was not for everyone. There were several people in my company that quit, for one reason or another. I was one of the oldest but I had the heart for this! I could out run, do more push ups and sit ups than 3/4 of the females and several males! I was so worried that I would fail because I was older but I totally smashed it!!
So now I start my OCS soon and look forward to the new challenges and hardships that will be coming soon. I will share my stories with you, hopefully we will get to have our phones during drill!! So I can document the good and horrid times!